Over the weekend, I took my sons to the grocery store to buy some apples. While we were out, I tried to make the most of the trip so I took them to the neighboring pet store and then down the plaza to the Dollar Store.
Of course my kids were touching everything possible within the pet store and making me cringe every time their hands neared their eyes or mouth. I couldn't wait to walk over to the Dollar Store and get some anti-bacterial soap on their little paws.
When we entered the Dollar Store I asked the cashier where I could find the anti-bacterial soap and she directed me to a display in the middle of the store. So I brought my boys over to the rack and gave each of them and myself a squirt from the bottle of berry scented liquid cleanser.
As I walked away from the rack, I did so without the bottle of soap in my hands. My conscience was actively notifying me that I needed to buy that soap and not just take a dab for myself and my boys. But against my own better judgment I continued to walk along in the store helping the kids pick out some toys for themselves.
The next day, I went to church and after getting my kids settled in childcare, I sat down to hear the sermon. The pastor was speaking about areas of our lives that can leave the devil a foothold. One of these areas was an unclean conscience.
Immediately, the Holy Spirit brought to mind that one dollar bottle of anti-bacterial soap that was still sitting in the Dollar Store. I knew at that moment that I not only had to ask God for his forgiveness, I also had to go back and buy that soap (even though my rational thinking said that it was no big deal at all.)
So after church we took another trip to the Dollar Store and I walked in to buy only one product - a used bottle of anti-bacterial soap. I got back into our van and took a healthy squirt of the bottle I now possessed. Ahh...I now not only had clean hands, I had a clean heart. My integrity was restored for a mere $1 ($1.06 with tax).
Integrity is doing the right thing no matter what the cost. Just consider what integrity (or lack of it) cost some characters in the Bible.
When David, a man after God's own heart, slept with Bathsheba and set up her husband Uriah to be killed in battle, it cost him greatly. The Lord was displeased with him (2 Samuel 11:27), he gave the enemies a reason to blaspheme His God (2 Samuel 12:14) and the son he bore with Bathsheba died. (2 Samuel 12:15-19)
When Judas agreed to betray Jesus for thirty pieces of silver (Matthew 26:15), he gave the devil entrance into his life (Luke 22:4), he conspired against Jesus to have him captured, then betrayed him with a kiss (Mark 14:43-46) and in his guilt, shame and regret took his own life (Matthew 27:3-5)
When Ananias and his wife Sapphira held back a portion of their offering from God and lied to the apostles and ultimately God, it cost them their lives. (Acts 5:1-10)
So what's the morale of the story?
The consequences of dishonesty are always greater than the cost of integrity. Amen.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Like a Little Child
This past Sunday I took my three year old to a new Sunday School class. He graduated from "Lollypop Lane" (which was basically a play center for young kids) to the 3 to 5year old class. In this new class they draw, hear Bible stories, have snacks and play games.
Since it was his first time in this new class, I decided to stay with him for the duration of the class to see what took place and how well he interacted with the other kids. I considered this a minor sacrifice knowing I would not be able to attend our regular service and hear this Sunday's sermon. To my surprise, I learned many spiritual truths in the presence of these toddlers.
Jesus was fond of little children. In fact he made some profound statements about children and the kingdom of God.
"Verily I say unto you, Except you be converted, and become as little children, you shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever shall receive one such little child in my name receives me." Matthew 18:3-5
Here are some observations I made as I was in the midst of these little children.
Story time : The Bible story for the day was about Jacob and Esau, the sons of Isaac and Rebekah. The overarching theme of the story was that we need to "love one another". The simplicity of the message made an impact on my own heart. How often are we looking for the deeper revelations from God when we haven't yet mastered the clearest commandment of the entire Bible - love each other.
Ask in faith : When it came to snack time, the kids were offered Goldfish and apple juice. As some of the kids finished their snack they simply asked for more. "Can I have more fish?" "Can I have more juice?" I became the teacher's helper and had the privilege of serving these little ones. Their simple requests reminded me of Jesus' teaching that we need to ask God in faith for what we need knowing that our Heavenly Father desires to give us what is good. (Matthew 7:7-11)
Freedom and Joy : Toward the end of the class there was time remaining before the parents would return. The teacher played some Christian music and invited the kids to dance. When the music stopped, they would "freeze" in place. The kids had no hesitation to get out on the carpet and cut the rug. Each one had their own style of dancing from spinning in circles to a simple bend of the knees, but one thing they had in common was their unhindered ability to be free and happy. There were no concerns about what other people thought about them or if they would be criticized for their silly moves, they just danced because it was the fun thing to do.
As I sat there with these little children admiring their uniqueness and simple lives, I thought, "Maybe I should help out here more often." Shortly after the class, the Sunday School coordinator asked if I'd be available to help out during the Summer with the kids. I thought to myself, "Ok, God, I hear you loud and clear." So for the next few weeks I will have the honor of assisting in this class and being taught by 3, 4 and 5 year olds what it means to be a child of God.
Since it was his first time in this new class, I decided to stay with him for the duration of the class to see what took place and how well he interacted with the other kids. I considered this a minor sacrifice knowing I would not be able to attend our regular service and hear this Sunday's sermon. To my surprise, I learned many spiritual truths in the presence of these toddlers.
Jesus was fond of little children. In fact he made some profound statements about children and the kingdom of God.
"Verily I say unto you, Except you be converted, and become as little children, you shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever shall receive one such little child in my name receives me." Matthew 18:3-5
Here are some observations I made as I was in the midst of these little children.
Story time : The Bible story for the day was about Jacob and Esau, the sons of Isaac and Rebekah. The overarching theme of the story was that we need to "love one another". The simplicity of the message made an impact on my own heart. How often are we looking for the deeper revelations from God when we haven't yet mastered the clearest commandment of the entire Bible - love each other.
Ask in faith : When it came to snack time, the kids were offered Goldfish and apple juice. As some of the kids finished their snack they simply asked for more. "Can I have more fish?" "Can I have more juice?" I became the teacher's helper and had the privilege of serving these little ones. Their simple requests reminded me of Jesus' teaching that we need to ask God in faith for what we need knowing that our Heavenly Father desires to give us what is good. (Matthew 7:7-11)
Freedom and Joy : Toward the end of the class there was time remaining before the parents would return. The teacher played some Christian music and invited the kids to dance. When the music stopped, they would "freeze" in place. The kids had no hesitation to get out on the carpet and cut the rug. Each one had their own style of dancing from spinning in circles to a simple bend of the knees, but one thing they had in common was their unhindered ability to be free and happy. There were no concerns about what other people thought about them or if they would be criticized for their silly moves, they just danced because it was the fun thing to do.
As I sat there with these little children admiring their uniqueness and simple lives, I thought, "Maybe I should help out here more often." Shortly after the class, the Sunday School coordinator asked if I'd be available to help out during the Summer with the kids. I thought to myself, "Ok, God, I hear you loud and clear." So for the next few weeks I will have the honor of assisting in this class and being taught by 3, 4 and 5 year olds what it means to be a child of God.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
A Couple "Love Stories"
In my last blog, I spoke about the importance of holiness in our walk with Christ. This blog, I'd like to emphasize the importance of love by sharing two recent stories with you.
The first story took place a couple weekends back on one of the hottest days of the year. The main air conditioner in our home living room went on the fritz. Having a small baby in the house it was imperative that we get the thing working...and fast!
So in the short term I popped in a smaller air conditioning unit in our bedroom where the baby spends most of her time and day sleeping (Praise God, we got a good sleeping baby this time!!). Then my wife called a couple we are friends with to ask if the husband would be available to help me install a new air conditioner.
Soon after my friend was at my door ready to help. Ironically he and I are both the youngest boys in our family. Now in case you don't know what that means, let me fill you in. The youngest boys only watch what is done around the house, they aren't included (or allowed to) actually do anything. No matter how old we get, it's all up to the older brothers. In some ways this was good (I got to play a lot more ball growing up), in other ways it's bad (I'm a klutz when it comes to fixing things around the house). Fortunately my friend was over his father's house last year when his A/C went out so he saw how to remove and install one(of course his brothers did all the work and he watched).
So my friend and I worked to remove this gargantuon, dinosaur of an air conditioning unit and lugged it to my front curb. We then took a trip to Home Depot to find the right size air conditioner to replace it. Three hundred and fifty dollars later we were headed back to my house to install the new unit.
Thankfully, the newer unit was much lighter and easier to install and we did not have to replace the outside metal casing that holds the unit in place. Then came the moment of truth (and cool air!) when we plugged the unit in, and voila! - nothing happened!!!
We scratched our heads a bit and stood in wonder. What could be wrong with this thing? I first concluded that the outlet must have a problem with it. At this point, I was tired, frustrated and hot. I took a quick step outside and said a quick breath of a prayer, probably my first prayer throughout this whole ordeal. "God, help me to stay in faith and give us wisdom."
"Should we check the circuit breakers?" my friend inquired. I thought to myself, "Oh no, don't tell me it was simply a circuit breaker." ...
And you guessed it...we flipped the circuit breaker over and the new machine worked like a charm. I will now answer the question every man is asking themselves, "Did you keep the new A/C unit?" I looked at my friend and apologized, "I'm sorry for wasting all your time today." He said, "No problem, I would have made the same mistake." (A very gracious response). Then I said, "Would you mind putting the old unit back in?" He agreed. We took out the new one and hoised the old one from the curb and put it back in. It ran beautifully.
I'm sure there are a lot of lessons to be learned here including the practical lesson of simply checking the circuit breaker before looking to replace a "dead" A/C unit. But I think the greater lesson I learned was the value of a good friend and what true Christian love is all about. My friend never complained, fussed, condemned me or laughed at me. He gave up his own precious time with his family and kids to be with me fixing an air conditioner that wasn't even broken and in the end didn't make me feel terrible about myself for making such a foolish mistake.
Now that's love. Thanks brother!
Now for one more quick "love story".
Last week we had a team outing at work to go play minature golf in the afternoon. I decided to work from home in the morning and then leave at lunchtime to go play. When it came time to leave, my son Elijah, now 3 soon to be 4, did not want me to go (or at least not to go without him).
I tried to explain to him that I wouldn't be gone long and that I'd come back to play with him, but this logic didn't curve his heart's desire to be with Daddy. I tried to distract him and make a dash for my car at one point, but could hear him crying and upset even from my driver's seat.
My wife came out to the car and said, "You've got to come in here, he's really having a tough time." So I came in and picked up my son in my arms (man, he's getting heavy) and started to tell him that I loved him and would be back soon. As I spoke the words, "I love you." I had the thought, "If you love him so much, what are you doing to show him that you love him?" Again, I lifted up a quick prayer for wisdom and the thought came to me, "Take him with you."
So I told my wife, "I'm going to take Elijah with me." So we gathered him some snacks to take with us and we were on our way.
Now this was not supposed to be a family event, but a team building event for my work. So I knew I was "breaking the rules" and would possibly be subjected to some funny looks, bad attitudes or whispers by those who didn't approve of my choice to bring my son along. But by faith (and love) I took him and he was very happy.
Now here comes the true "love story". Around the 16th hole (this was the nicest minature golf course I've ever seen, by the way), Elijah decided to throw his ball and it landed in a large pond. The pond was fenced in with signs around it warning golfers not to bother the swans. I tried to stick my club in to fish out his ball to no avail. So I told him we'd have to continue on without his special blue ball.
But by the time we got to the next hole, he was again asking for the ball. So my co-workers with me suggested I try to grab another ball that was laying beside the water. We went over to try and scoop it out and as I leaned over the fence, my glasses dropped in and landed right next to the ball on the rocks next to the pond.
My co-worker looked at me and said, "Now you've got to go in." So we surveyed the area and pointed out the best place to hop the fence. In the meantime, there was a huge swan eyeing me down. I made the jump. Grabbed the ball and my glasses and hopped back over the fence before the killer swan could reach me. And believe me, he was coming my way.
While my heroics will never compare to the stories of modern day Super-men who save lives from burning buildings, one thing holds true. True love does what's best for another.
"Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends." - Jesus
(John 15:13)
The first story took place a couple weekends back on one of the hottest days of the year. The main air conditioner in our home living room went on the fritz. Having a small baby in the house it was imperative that we get the thing working...and fast!
So in the short term I popped in a smaller air conditioning unit in our bedroom where the baby spends most of her time and day sleeping (Praise God, we got a good sleeping baby this time!!). Then my wife called a couple we are friends with to ask if the husband would be available to help me install a new air conditioner.
Soon after my friend was at my door ready to help. Ironically he and I are both the youngest boys in our family. Now in case you don't know what that means, let me fill you in. The youngest boys only watch what is done around the house, they aren't included (or allowed to) actually do anything. No matter how old we get, it's all up to the older brothers. In some ways this was good (I got to play a lot more ball growing up), in other ways it's bad (I'm a klutz when it comes to fixing things around the house). Fortunately my friend was over his father's house last year when his A/C went out so he saw how to remove and install one(of course his brothers did all the work and he watched).
So my friend and I worked to remove this gargantuon, dinosaur of an air conditioning unit and lugged it to my front curb. We then took a trip to Home Depot to find the right size air conditioner to replace it. Three hundred and fifty dollars later we were headed back to my house to install the new unit.
Thankfully, the newer unit was much lighter and easier to install and we did not have to replace the outside metal casing that holds the unit in place. Then came the moment of truth (and cool air!) when we plugged the unit in, and voila! - nothing happened!!!
We scratched our heads a bit and stood in wonder. What could be wrong with this thing? I first concluded that the outlet must have a problem with it. At this point, I was tired, frustrated and hot. I took a quick step outside and said a quick breath of a prayer, probably my first prayer throughout this whole ordeal. "God, help me to stay in faith and give us wisdom."
"Should we check the circuit breakers?" my friend inquired. I thought to myself, "Oh no, don't tell me it was simply a circuit breaker." ...
And you guessed it...we flipped the circuit breaker over and the new machine worked like a charm. I will now answer the question every man is asking themselves, "Did you keep the new A/C unit?" I looked at my friend and apologized, "I'm sorry for wasting all your time today." He said, "No problem, I would have made the same mistake." (A very gracious response). Then I said, "Would you mind putting the old unit back in?" He agreed. We took out the new one and hoised the old one from the curb and put it back in. It ran beautifully.
I'm sure there are a lot of lessons to be learned here including the practical lesson of simply checking the circuit breaker before looking to replace a "dead" A/C unit. But I think the greater lesson I learned was the value of a good friend and what true Christian love is all about. My friend never complained, fussed, condemned me or laughed at me. He gave up his own precious time with his family and kids to be with me fixing an air conditioner that wasn't even broken and in the end didn't make me feel terrible about myself for making such a foolish mistake.
Now that's love. Thanks brother!
Now for one more quick "love story".
Last week we had a team outing at work to go play minature golf in the afternoon. I decided to work from home in the morning and then leave at lunchtime to go play. When it came time to leave, my son Elijah, now 3 soon to be 4, did not want me to go (or at least not to go without him).
I tried to explain to him that I wouldn't be gone long and that I'd come back to play with him, but this logic didn't curve his heart's desire to be with Daddy. I tried to distract him and make a dash for my car at one point, but could hear him crying and upset even from my driver's seat.
My wife came out to the car and said, "You've got to come in here, he's really having a tough time." So I came in and picked up my son in my arms (man, he's getting heavy) and started to tell him that I loved him and would be back soon. As I spoke the words, "I love you." I had the thought, "If you love him so much, what are you doing to show him that you love him?" Again, I lifted up a quick prayer for wisdom and the thought came to me, "Take him with you."
So I told my wife, "I'm going to take Elijah with me." So we gathered him some snacks to take with us and we were on our way.
Now this was not supposed to be a family event, but a team building event for my work. So I knew I was "breaking the rules" and would possibly be subjected to some funny looks, bad attitudes or whispers by those who didn't approve of my choice to bring my son along. But by faith (and love) I took him and he was very happy.
Now here comes the true "love story". Around the 16th hole (this was the nicest minature golf course I've ever seen, by the way), Elijah decided to throw his ball and it landed in a large pond. The pond was fenced in with signs around it warning golfers not to bother the swans. I tried to stick my club in to fish out his ball to no avail. So I told him we'd have to continue on without his special blue ball.
But by the time we got to the next hole, he was again asking for the ball. So my co-workers with me suggested I try to grab another ball that was laying beside the water. We went over to try and scoop it out and as I leaned over the fence, my glasses dropped in and landed right next to the ball on the rocks next to the pond.
My co-worker looked at me and said, "Now you've got to go in." So we surveyed the area and pointed out the best place to hop the fence. In the meantime, there was a huge swan eyeing me down. I made the jump. Grabbed the ball and my glasses and hopped back over the fence before the killer swan could reach me. And believe me, he was coming my way.
While my heroics will never compare to the stories of modern day Super-men who save lives from burning buildings, one thing holds true. True love does what's best for another.
"Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends." - Jesus
(John 15:13)
Friday, June 6, 2008
A Call to Holiness
As I completed a grocery store run for my wife and entered the parking lot with my two toddler boys seated in the red race car shopping cart I thought to myself, "Job well done." I grinned as I thought about just how "responsible" I was becoming as a Father. Before my ego had time to blow my head to smithereens, I sensed the Holy Spirit speaking gently to my heart. Within a flash of a moment I understood the message.
"Being responsible is good, but I've called you to more than that. I've called you to holiness."
Suddenly my sense of pride wilted like a head of lettuce left out in the hot Sun, losing all of it's glory and splendor. A couple scriptures soon came to mind.
"Be Holy, for I am holy." (1 Peter 1:15)
"Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord" (Hebrews 12:11)
As I continued on in my day with my sons, I started to meditate on this word from the Lord. I realized that God desires holiness more than anything else.
It's not that being responsible is a bad thing, of course not. As long as being responsible doesn't come in the way of being holy, then it is a wonderful thing. And that holds true for any other noble virtue.
If God has given you a good sense of humor, then use it to his glory, just as long as you don't break the greater standard, that of holiness, by telling off colored jokes.
If God has made you industrious and a good worker with your hands, then work diligently. Just don't allow pride to rob Him of glory and deplete your true calling to holiness.
If you have a very sociable personality and have no problems making friends or being a conversationalist, great! Praise the Lord for your beam of light. Just don't lose sight of holiness and become the center of your world and everyone else's attention.
A second realization came to me as I meditated on God's call to holiness. Sometimes even as Christians we forget that God's standard is much different and higher than our own human benchmark. Jesus did not come to die for "pretty good people". He came and died for sinners. At the core of the gospel is the fact that we will never measure up to God's criterion of holiness on our own, "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God". (Romans 3:23)
The good news, (ie the gospel) is that through Christ, we are justified (made right) with God and by God's grace we are redeemed (accepted back) by God. The above verse goes on to say,
"being justified freely by His grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God set forth as a propitiation by His blood, through faith, to demonstrate His righteousness, because in His forbearance God had passed over the sins that were previously committed to demonstrate at the present time His rightousness, that He might be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus." Romans 3:24-26
As I consider the things that "drive" me to do what I do and say, I must ask myself this question. "Is the value that's driving me at this point in time in any way contrary or lower than God's call to holiness?" If so, I must adjust my priorities and seek God's gold standard, holiness.
After another trip to a local play center, I got my kids in the car and headed home. I realized I was running late for a meeting I had to attend. My focus and priority became being on time. As my sons started to squabble with one another and whine for me to make another stop before going home my voice and temper began to rise.
"Remember", nudged the Holy Spirit, "it's all about holiness."
<>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <><
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
For further study and meditation, consider the following verses:
2 Corinthians 7:1 Having therefore these promises, dearly beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God.
Ephesians 4:20-24 But you have not so learned Christ; If so be that you have heard him, and have been taught by him, as the truth is in Jesus: That you put off concerning the former way of life the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts; And be renewed in the spirit of your mind; And that you put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.
1 Thessalonians 3:11-13 Now God himself even our Father, and our Lord Jesus Christ, direct our way unto you. And the Lord make you to increase and abound in love one toward another, and toward all men, even as we do toward you: To the end he may establish your hearts blameless in holiness before God, even our Father, at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ with all his saints.
"Being responsible is good, but I've called you to more than that. I've called you to holiness."
Suddenly my sense of pride wilted like a head of lettuce left out in the hot Sun, losing all of it's glory and splendor. A couple scriptures soon came to mind.
"Be Holy, for I am holy." (1 Peter 1:15)
"Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord" (Hebrews 12:11)
As I continued on in my day with my sons, I started to meditate on this word from the Lord. I realized that God desires holiness more than anything else.
It's not that being responsible is a bad thing, of course not. As long as being responsible doesn't come in the way of being holy, then it is a wonderful thing. And that holds true for any other noble virtue.
If God has given you a good sense of humor, then use it to his glory, just as long as you don't break the greater standard, that of holiness, by telling off colored jokes.
If God has made you industrious and a good worker with your hands, then work diligently. Just don't allow pride to rob Him of glory and deplete your true calling to holiness.
If you have a very sociable personality and have no problems making friends or being a conversationalist, great! Praise the Lord for your beam of light. Just don't lose sight of holiness and become the center of your world and everyone else's attention.
A second realization came to me as I meditated on God's call to holiness. Sometimes even as Christians we forget that God's standard is much different and higher than our own human benchmark. Jesus did not come to die for "pretty good people". He came and died for sinners. At the core of the gospel is the fact that we will never measure up to God's criterion of holiness on our own, "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God". (Romans 3:23)
The good news, (ie the gospel) is that through Christ, we are justified (made right) with God and by God's grace we are redeemed (accepted back) by God. The above verse goes on to say,
"being justified freely by His grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God set forth as a propitiation by His blood, through faith, to demonstrate His righteousness, because in His forbearance God had passed over the sins that were previously committed to demonstrate at the present time His rightousness, that He might be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus." Romans 3:24-26
As I consider the things that "drive" me to do what I do and say, I must ask myself this question. "Is the value that's driving me at this point in time in any way contrary or lower than God's call to holiness?" If so, I must adjust my priorities and seek God's gold standard, holiness.
After another trip to a local play center, I got my kids in the car and headed home. I realized I was running late for a meeting I had to attend. My focus and priority became being on time. As my sons started to squabble with one another and whine for me to make another stop before going home my voice and temper began to rise.
"Remember", nudged the Holy Spirit, "it's all about holiness."
<>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <><
><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><> ><>
For further study and meditation, consider the following verses:
2 Corinthians 7:1 Having therefore these promises, dearly beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God.
Ephesians 4:20-24 But you have not so learned Christ; If so be that you have heard him, and have been taught by him, as the truth is in Jesus: That you put off concerning the former way of life the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts; And be renewed in the spirit of your mind; And that you put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.
1 Thessalonians 3:11-13 Now God himself even our Father, and our Lord Jesus Christ, direct our way unto you. And the Lord make you to increase and abound in love one toward another, and toward all men, even as we do toward you: To the end he may establish your hearts blameless in holiness before God, even our Father, at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ with all his saints.
Monday, May 26, 2008
What the Bible says about gossip....
A Web Reader asked, "What does the Bible say about gossip?"
Response:
The Bible says a lot about gossip, but depending on the version of the Bible you are reading, you may not find the actual word "gossip" being used. Instead, you will find several other synonyms that connote the same meaning. The words "talebearer" or "whisperer" are the two most common names that describe someone who gossips.
Webster's dictionary defines a gossip as someone who "habitually reveals personal or sensational facts about others" and also "rumor or report of an intimate nature". When we typically think of gossip, it's usually in the form of slander, a malicious form of speech that is meant to harm the reputation of another. Jesus actually spoke of slander in the Beatitudes when he said, "Blessed are you, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake" (Matthew 5:11).
Most of us would agree that gossip is wrong by nature, but the Bible brings greater understanding to the nature of gossip and why it is so harmful and evil in the eyes of God. Consider these few verses from Proverbs:
Proverbs 11:13 A talebearer reveals secrets: but he that is of a faithful spirit conceals the matter.
A person who gossips is untrustworthy. If they are willing to speak about others to you, don't be so foolish to think they won't do the same behind your back. A gossip doesn't know how to keep a secret, but a person who is faithful will keep a matter between you and them. We all need faithful friends.
Proverbs 16:28 A perverse man sows strife: and a whisperer separates best friends.
A person who gossips can cause great strife and conflict in relationships. By speaking maliciously about others, a gossip can ruin our impression of a person we know and care about. When someone begins a sentence by saying, "Did you know that so-and-so...?" or "I heard that so-and so...", you can safely assume that gossip is to follow. It's best to politely shift the conversation or remove yourself immediately.
Proverbs 18:8 The words of a talebearer are like tasty morsels, and they go down into the innermost parts of the body.
Gossip is like a tasty treat to the ears of the gossiper. Have you ever nibbled at a piece of cake until the whole thing was completely gone? In the same way, a gossiper is never satisfied with just a little rumor, their spirit continues to hunger for just another word of accusation or juicy story to tell.
Proverbs 20:19 He that goes about as a talebearer reveals secrets: therefore associate not with him who flatters with his lips.
A gossip is prone to flattery. Webster's dictionary defines flattery as "insincere or excessive praise". There is nothing wrong with a heartfelt compliment. In fact, we can all use some encouragement. But a person who is prone to gossip will also use their speech to puff up another person with vain words. The Bible is very clear to say that we should avoid associating with such people. Don't be fooled, if you hang around a person who gossips long enough, you will become like them. (read 1 Corinthians 15:33)
Proverbs 26:20 Where no wood is, there the fire goes out: so where there is no talebearer, the strife ceases.
Don't feed the fire! If you find yourself tempted to gossip or in a conversation with someone who starts to gossip, stop immediately. The best way to stop gossip is to starve it. Change topics, keep quiet or politely excuse yourself when gossip begins and you will keep yourself pure as well as help another person, at least for the moment, avoid the opportunity to sin. Gossip dies once one person in no longer willing to listen.
The Bible not only encourages us to avoid people who gossip, it also warns us to keep from gossiping ourselves.
"Keep your tongue from evil, and your lips from speaking deceit." (Psalm 34:13)
"Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice."(Ephesians 4:31)
"Speak not evil one of another, brethren. He that speaks evil of his brother, and judges his brother, speaks evil of the law, and judges the law: but if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law, but a judge." (James 4:11)
Talking to another person about a problem is not gossip. When we have a serious conflict with another person, Jesus taught that we should speak directly with the person who has offended us before we bring it to the attention of others. (Matthew 18:15-17) Direct, honest, and loving communication requires maturity, perhaps the reason that it's so much easier to just talk about someone else behind their back.
But gossip comes at a great cost to our relationships and is a deadly vice the enemy uses to divide and hurt people even within the church of Jesus Christ. When we hide gossip behind the guise of a "prayer request" we destroy trust within our fellowship and cause great damage to the body. Our speech must be motivated by our love for others knowing that "Love does no harm to a neighbor". (Romans 13:10)
When all is said and done, it may come down to remembering the simple adage, "If you don't have anything nice to say..."
Response:
The Bible says a lot about gossip, but depending on the version of the Bible you are reading, you may not find the actual word "gossip" being used. Instead, you will find several other synonyms that connote the same meaning. The words "talebearer" or "whisperer" are the two most common names that describe someone who gossips.
Webster's dictionary defines a gossip as someone who "habitually reveals personal or sensational facts about others" and also "rumor or report of an intimate nature". When we typically think of gossip, it's usually in the form of slander, a malicious form of speech that is meant to harm the reputation of another. Jesus actually spoke of slander in the Beatitudes when he said, "Blessed are you, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake" (Matthew 5:11).
Most of us would agree that gossip is wrong by nature, but the Bible brings greater understanding to the nature of gossip and why it is so harmful and evil in the eyes of God. Consider these few verses from Proverbs:
Proverbs 11:13 A talebearer reveals secrets: but he that is of a faithful spirit conceals the matter.
A person who gossips is untrustworthy. If they are willing to speak about others to you, don't be so foolish to think they won't do the same behind your back. A gossip doesn't know how to keep a secret, but a person who is faithful will keep a matter between you and them. We all need faithful friends.
Proverbs 16:28 A perverse man sows strife: and a whisperer separates best friends.
A person who gossips can cause great strife and conflict in relationships. By speaking maliciously about others, a gossip can ruin our impression of a person we know and care about. When someone begins a sentence by saying, "Did you know that so-and-so...?" or "I heard that so-and so...", you can safely assume that gossip is to follow. It's best to politely shift the conversation or remove yourself immediately.
Proverbs 18:8 The words of a talebearer are like tasty morsels, and they go down into the innermost parts of the body.
Gossip is like a tasty treat to the ears of the gossiper. Have you ever nibbled at a piece of cake until the whole thing was completely gone? In the same way, a gossiper is never satisfied with just a little rumor, their spirit continues to hunger for just another word of accusation or juicy story to tell.
Proverbs 20:19 He that goes about as a talebearer reveals secrets: therefore associate not with him who flatters with his lips.
A gossip is prone to flattery. Webster's dictionary defines flattery as "insincere or excessive praise". There is nothing wrong with a heartfelt compliment. In fact, we can all use some encouragement. But a person who is prone to gossip will also use their speech to puff up another person with vain words. The Bible is very clear to say that we should avoid associating with such people. Don't be fooled, if you hang around a person who gossips long enough, you will become like them. (read 1 Corinthians 15:33)
Proverbs 26:20 Where no wood is, there the fire goes out: so where there is no talebearer, the strife ceases.
Don't feed the fire! If you find yourself tempted to gossip or in a conversation with someone who starts to gossip, stop immediately. The best way to stop gossip is to starve it. Change topics, keep quiet or politely excuse yourself when gossip begins and you will keep yourself pure as well as help another person, at least for the moment, avoid the opportunity to sin. Gossip dies once one person in no longer willing to listen.
The Bible not only encourages us to avoid people who gossip, it also warns us to keep from gossiping ourselves.
"Keep your tongue from evil, and your lips from speaking deceit." (Psalm 34:13)
"Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice."(Ephesians 4:31)
"Speak not evil one of another, brethren. He that speaks evil of his brother, and judges his brother, speaks evil of the law, and judges the law: but if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law, but a judge." (James 4:11)
Talking to another person about a problem is not gossip. When we have a serious conflict with another person, Jesus taught that we should speak directly with the person who has offended us before we bring it to the attention of others. (Matthew 18:15-17) Direct, honest, and loving communication requires maturity, perhaps the reason that it's so much easier to just talk about someone else behind their back.
But gossip comes at a great cost to our relationships and is a deadly vice the enemy uses to divide and hurt people even within the church of Jesus Christ. When we hide gossip behind the guise of a "prayer request" we destroy trust within our fellowship and cause great damage to the body. Our speech must be motivated by our love for others knowing that "Love does no harm to a neighbor". (Romans 13:10)
When all is said and done, it may come down to remembering the simple adage, "If you don't have anything nice to say..."
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Daughter in college...gone astray from the Lord...
A web reader wrote:
Besides praying, how can parents who are currently raising their two youngest children to live Christian lives, minister to their oldest child who is living out of state and attending college? The choices that this child is making are totally non Christian and I can't even get her to commit to finding a new church family and/or interact with other Christian students. All she's interested in is partying and boys and I am so afraid that she will be hurt terribly and/or be so consumed in the world that she won't find her way back to Christ.
Dear Reader:
I am sorry to hear of your daughter's choices to stray from the faith. I can tell this is a really painful situation for you. Let's first get on the table some of the things you cannot do for your daughter.
1) You can't make her decision for Christ. She's going to have to make the decision to follow Christ on her own. This is actually a good thing because she will "own" her faith at that point and it won't be the choice of her Mom and Dad.
2) You can't watch over your daughter's activities. As a parent you want the best for your child and that includes protecting them from harmful people and circumstances. "In the natural", you can't oversee every activity that your daughter will participate in or people she will hang out around. She's on her own and although you can influence her choices, you can in no way monitor all of them - that's God's job.
3) You can't stop being a good Mom to your other two young kids. Your other two kids need you the most right now. If they are old enough to understand your eldest daughter's decisions, you will be responsible for sharing with them why you believe these are wrong choices and leading them to the truth of God's Word. You are responsible for protecting them from any harmful influences as well as nurturing them in their spirits.
4) You can't take back the past. The Apostle Paul wrote, "forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." (Phil 3:13,14) Do not condemn yourself for any mistakes you've made in parenting your eldest child. Ask God for His forgiveness, forgive yourself and where appropriate ask your daughter to forgive you, then do your best to move on in faith.
Before we go forward with what you can do, let's pause for a moment of prayer. "Lord we lift up this mother to you now. Comfort her in her time of distress. Let her know that you are always there with her at any time of the day, even in her darkest hour. Help her to surrender to You those things that are out of her control and give her the strength and wisdom to raise her two younger kids up in Your ways. In Jesus' name we pray, Amen."
Now for what you can do :
1) Pray! : I know that prayer sometimes seems like it's just not enough, but let me encourage you to know that there is no greater power available to us to change our circumstances than the power that comes through prayer. Although you can't make your daughter's decision to accept or follow Christ, you can pray for God to work in drawing her to Himself. And though you cannot watch over your daughter's activities, you can pray for her protection and well being. Never underestimate the power of a praying mother!
2) Wait expectantly: James wrote, "Count it all joy when you fall in to various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing" (James 1:3, 4) God wants to use this trying time in your life to help you develop even greater character, namely patience. Wait with expectation that you will one day see your daughter come around and follow after the Lord. That takes faith!
3) Ask for wisdom: James continued by saying, "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him." (James 1:5) God wants to give you wisdom for this situation and all you need to do is ask. Ask and keep asking. God can give ideas on how to relate to your daughter and to pray for her.
4) Find support: There have to be other Christian mothers out there going through the same situation. If you know any, call them up. Set up a time for you to get together and pray for your children and to encourage one another. If you don't know of any, ask God to provide one for you. God never wants us to walk this journey alone. Also, if your husband is a Christian man, ask him to pray with you. Allow this trial to pull you closer together, not further apart. God can bless your marriage and faith if you come together in the name of our Lord Jesus and pray and trust His Word and promises.
5) Don't lose heart: "And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart." (Galatians 6:9) I am certain that if you persist in prayer for your daughter and continue to be a good example of what it means to walk with Christ, it is only a matter of time before she comes back to the truth. Don't give up! As long as you can hold onto Jesus through this trial, trusting Him regardless of the choices your daughter makes, you will have the victory. Don't doubt it, don't fear the worst. Trust God completely. He is working on your behalf so don't give up!!
"Lord, we pray again for this dear mother. Give her the courage to carry on. We pray for her daughter as well. Speak to her heart and call her back to You. Give this mother a wonderful support system to help her stay encouraged. Bless her marriage and her two younger children. We trust that one day, she will see her entire household praising You. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen."
Besides praying, how can parents who are currently raising their two youngest children to live Christian lives, minister to their oldest child who is living out of state and attending college? The choices that this child is making are totally non Christian and I can't even get her to commit to finding a new church family and/or interact with other Christian students. All she's interested in is partying and boys and I am so afraid that she will be hurt terribly and/or be so consumed in the world that she won't find her way back to Christ.
Dear Reader:
I am sorry to hear of your daughter's choices to stray from the faith. I can tell this is a really painful situation for you. Let's first get on the table some of the things you cannot do for your daughter.
1) You can't make her decision for Christ. She's going to have to make the decision to follow Christ on her own. This is actually a good thing because she will "own" her faith at that point and it won't be the choice of her Mom and Dad.
2) You can't watch over your daughter's activities. As a parent you want the best for your child and that includes protecting them from harmful people and circumstances. "In the natural", you can't oversee every activity that your daughter will participate in or people she will hang out around. She's on her own and although you can influence her choices, you can in no way monitor all of them - that's God's job.
3) You can't stop being a good Mom to your other two young kids. Your other two kids need you the most right now. If they are old enough to understand your eldest daughter's decisions, you will be responsible for sharing with them why you believe these are wrong choices and leading them to the truth of God's Word. You are responsible for protecting them from any harmful influences as well as nurturing them in their spirits.
4) You can't take back the past. The Apostle Paul wrote, "forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." (Phil 3:13,14) Do not condemn yourself for any mistakes you've made in parenting your eldest child. Ask God for His forgiveness, forgive yourself and where appropriate ask your daughter to forgive you, then do your best to move on in faith.
Before we go forward with what you can do, let's pause for a moment of prayer. "Lord we lift up this mother to you now. Comfort her in her time of distress. Let her know that you are always there with her at any time of the day, even in her darkest hour. Help her to surrender to You those things that are out of her control and give her the strength and wisdom to raise her two younger kids up in Your ways. In Jesus' name we pray, Amen."
Now for what you can do :
1) Pray! : I know that prayer sometimes seems like it's just not enough, but let me encourage you to know that there is no greater power available to us to change our circumstances than the power that comes through prayer. Although you can't make your daughter's decision to accept or follow Christ, you can pray for God to work in drawing her to Himself. And though you cannot watch over your daughter's activities, you can pray for her protection and well being. Never underestimate the power of a praying mother!
2) Wait expectantly: James wrote, "Count it all joy when you fall in to various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing" (James 1:3, 4) God wants to use this trying time in your life to help you develop even greater character, namely patience. Wait with expectation that you will one day see your daughter come around and follow after the Lord. That takes faith!
3) Ask for wisdom: James continued by saying, "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him." (James 1:5) God wants to give you wisdom for this situation and all you need to do is ask. Ask and keep asking. God can give ideas on how to relate to your daughter and to pray for her.
4) Find support: There have to be other Christian mothers out there going through the same situation. If you know any, call them up. Set up a time for you to get together and pray for your children and to encourage one another. If you don't know of any, ask God to provide one for you. God never wants us to walk this journey alone. Also, if your husband is a Christian man, ask him to pray with you. Allow this trial to pull you closer together, not further apart. God can bless your marriage and faith if you come together in the name of our Lord Jesus and pray and trust His Word and promises.
5) Don't lose heart: "And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart." (Galatians 6:9) I am certain that if you persist in prayer for your daughter and continue to be a good example of what it means to walk with Christ, it is only a matter of time before she comes back to the truth. Don't give up! As long as you can hold onto Jesus through this trial, trusting Him regardless of the choices your daughter makes, you will have the victory. Don't doubt it, don't fear the worst. Trust God completely. He is working on your behalf so don't give up!!
"Lord, we pray again for this dear mother. Give her the courage to carry on. We pray for her daughter as well. Speak to her heart and call her back to You. Give this mother a wonderful support system to help her stay encouraged. Bless her marriage and her two younger children. We trust that one day, she will see her entire household praising You. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
