What the Bible says about gossip....

A Web Reader asked, "What does the Bible say about gossip?"

Response:

The Bible says a lot about gossip, but depending on the version of the Bible you are reading, you may not find the actual word "gossip" being used. Instead, you will find several other synonyms that connote the same meaning. The words "talebearer" or "whisperer" are the two most common names that describe someone who gossips.

Webster's dictionary defines a gossip as someone who "habitually reveals personal or sensational facts about others" and also "rumor or report of an intimate nature". When we typically think of gossip, it's usually in the form of slander, a malicious form of speech that is meant to harm the reputation of another. Jesus actually spoke of slander in the Beatitudes when he said, "Blessed are you, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake" (Matthew 5:11).

Most of us would agree that gossip is wrong by nature, but the Bible brings greater understanding to the nature of gossip and why it is so harmful and evil in the eyes of God. Consider these few verses from Proverbs:

Proverbs 11:13 A talebearer reveals secrets: but he that is of a faithful spirit conceals the matter.

A person who gossips is untrustworthy. If they are willing to speak about others to you, don't be so foolish to think they won't do the same behind your back. A gossip doesn't know how to keep a secret, but a person who is faithful will keep a matter between you and them. We all need faithful friends.

Proverbs 16:28 A perverse man sows strife: and a whisperer separates best friends.

A person who gossips can cause great strife and conflict in relationships. By speaking maliciously about others, a gossip can ruin our impression of a person we know and care about. When someone begins a sentence by saying, "Did you know that so-and-so...?" or "I heard that so-and so...", you can safely assume that gossip is to follow. It's best to politely shift the conversation or remove yourself immediately.

Proverbs 18:8 The words of a talebearer are like tasty morsels, and they go down into the innermost parts of the body.

Gossip is like a tasty treat to the ears of the gossiper. Have you ever nibbled at a piece of cake until the whole thing was completely gone? In the same way, a gossiper is never satisfied with just a little rumor, their spirit continues to hunger for just another word of accusation or juicy story to tell.

Proverbs 20:19 He that goes about as a talebearer reveals secrets: therefore associate not with him who flatters with his lips.

A gossip is prone to flattery. Webster's dictionary defines flattery as "insincere or excessive praise". There is nothing wrong with a heartfelt compliment. In fact, we can all use some encouragement. But a person who is prone to gossip will also use their speech to puff up another person with vain words. The Bible is very clear to say that we should avoid associating with such people. Don't be fooled, if you hang around a person who gossips long enough, you will become like them. (read 1 Corinthians 15:33)

Proverbs 26:20 Where no wood is, there the fire goes out: so where there is no talebearer, the strife ceases.

Don't feed the fire! If you find yourself tempted to gossip or in a conversation with someone who starts to gossip, stop immediately. The best way to stop gossip is to starve it. Change topics, keep quiet or politely excuse yourself when gossip begins and you will keep yourself pure as well as help another person, at least for the moment, avoid the opportunity to sin. Gossip dies once one person in no longer willing to listen.

The Bible not only encourages us to avoid people who gossip, it also warns us to keep from gossiping ourselves.

"Keep your tongue from evil, and your lips from speaking deceit." (Psalm 34:13)

"Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice."(Ephesians 4:31)

"Speak not evil one of another, brethren. He that speaks evil of his brother, and judges his brother, speaks evil of the law, and judges the law: but if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law, but a judge." (James 4:11)

Talking to another person about a problem is not gossip. When we have a serious conflict with another person, Jesus taught that we should speak directly with the person who has offended us before we bring it to the attention of others. (Matthew 18:15-17) Direct, honest, and loving communication requires maturity, perhaps the reason that it's so much easier to just talk about someone else behind their back.

But gossip comes at a great cost to our relationships and is a deadly vice the enemy uses to divide and hurt people even within the church of Jesus Christ. When we hide gossip behind the guise of a "prayer request" we destroy trust within our fellowship and cause great damage to the body. Our speech must be motivated by our love for others knowing that "Love does no harm to a neighbor". (Romans 13:10)

When all is said and done, it may come down to remembering the simple adage, "If you don't have anything nice to say..."