How to Make the Most of Your Trials

I seem to be going through a series of trials as of late. I am thankful that these trials are not severe in nature, none of them are matters of life or death. At the same time, they are enough to test my faith. Here are some ways I'm learning from the book of James, by the author of the same name, to make the most of my trials.

James starts off his book by identifying himself as a "bondservant" of Jesus Christ. That term bondservant literally means a slave, someone who is bound to another. The first step in making the most of your trial is to view yourself as a servant to God. By taking on this identity, you immediately overcome the temptation to feel that you "deserve better" and instead look for ways in which to glorify God, your Master.

James goes on to say, "count it all joy when you fall into various trials." (Jms 1:2) I've never met anyone who said that it was easy to obey this instruction. Like all of the Christian life, it is not easy, but it is possible. Or in the words of Jesus, "With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." (Mt 19:26) In order to face a trial with joy, we must become fully dependent upon God.

Thirdly, it's also worthy to note that James said, "when" we face a trial, not "if". Trails are not optional in this life; they are guaranteed. Jesus taught that the Father "makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust." (Mt 5:45) Bad days do come to good people, just ask Job.

James then goes on to explain why we should consider our trials as joy. He makes a chain reference of words noting that when our faith is tested it produces patience or perserverance and when we've experienced patience long enough we become mature and complete. Any professional athlete will testify that it's only through persistent and progressively more difficult practice that perfection is reached. In the same light, our Christian character is developed over time as we face trials.

James advice for those who face trials is very simple - ask God for wisdom. When we come to God we must come in an attitude of faith, knowing that without faith we cannot please Him (Heb 11:6) It's important to ask God for wisdom during a trial because we are often faced with critical decisions and don't want to take them on hastily. Furthermore, if we make poor choices, it can possibly prolong the time we face going through the trial. When we ask, we must also listen for God's direction.

All in all, I know trials are inevitable, but that God works everything for my good (Romans 8:28) to help me conform into the image and likeness of my Savior (v.29) and He provides wisdom to go through the trial if I simply ask Him for it.

Friend, I don't know the trials you are facing today or those coming your way, but I do know that in Christ, God can make every obstable we face work for our good. Amen.

A Couple "Love Stories"

In my last blog, I spoke about the importance of holiness in our walk with Christ. This blog, I'd like to emphasize the importance of love by sharing two recent stories with you.

The first story took place a couple weekends back on one of the hottest days of the year. The main air conditioner in our home living room went on the fritz. Having a small baby in the house it was imperative that we get the thing working...and fast!

So in the short term I popped in a smaller air conditioning unit in our bedroom where the baby spends most of her time and day sleeping (Praise God, we got a good sleeping baby this time!!). Then my wife called a couple we are friends with to ask if the husband would be available to help me install a new air conditioner.

Soon after my friend was at my door ready to help. Ironically he and I are both the youngest boys in our family. Now in case you don't know what that means, let me fill you in. The youngest boys only watch what is done around the house, they aren't included (or allowed to) actually do anything. No matter how old we get, it's all up to the older brothers. In some ways this was good (I got to play a lot more ball growing up), in other ways it's bad (I'm a klutz when it comes to fixing things around the house). Fortunately my friend was over his father's house last year when his A/C went out so he saw how to remove and install one(of course his brothers did all the work and he watched).

So my friend and I worked to remove this gargantuon, dinosaur of an air conditioning unit and lugged it to my front curb. We then took a trip to Home Depot to find the right size air conditioner to replace it. Three hundred and fifty dollars later we were headed back to my house to install the new unit.

Thankfully, the newer unit was much lighter and easier to install and we did not have to replace the outside metal casing that holds the unit in place. Then came the moment of truth (and cool air!) when we plugged the unit in, and voila! - nothing happened!!!

We scratched our heads a bit and stood in wonder. What could be wrong with this thing? I first concluded that the outlet must have a problem with it. At this point, I was tired, frustrated and hot. I took a quick step outside and said a quick breath of a prayer, probably my first prayer throughout this whole ordeal. "God, help me to stay in faith and give us wisdom."

"Should we check the circuit breakers?" my friend inquired. I thought to myself, "Oh no, don't tell me it was simply a circuit breaker." ...

And you guessed it...we flipped the circuit breaker over and the new machine worked like a charm. I will now answer the question every man is asking themselves, "Did you keep the new A/C unit?" I looked at my friend and apologized, "I'm sorry for wasting all your time today." He said, "No problem, I would have made the same mistake." (A very gracious response). Then I said, "Would you mind putting the old unit back in?" He agreed. We took out the new one and hoised the old one from the curb and put it back in. It ran beautifully.

I'm sure there are a lot of lessons to be learned here including the practical lesson of simply checking the circuit breaker before looking to replace a "dead" A/C unit. But I think the greater lesson I learned was the value of a good friend and what true Christian love is all about. My friend never complained, fussed, condemned me or laughed at me. He gave up his own precious time with his family and kids to be with me fixing an air conditioner that wasn't even broken and in the end didn't make me feel terrible about myself for making such a foolish mistake.

Now that's love. Thanks brother!

Now for one more quick "love story".

Last week we had a team outing at work to go play minature golf in the afternoon. I decided to work from home in the morning and then leave at lunchtime to go play. When it came time to leave, my son Elijah, now 3 soon to be 4, did not want me to go (or at least not to go without him).

I tried to explain to him that I wouldn't be gone long and that I'd come back to play with him, but this logic didn't curve his heart's desire to be with Daddy. I tried to distract him and make a dash for my car at one point, but could hear him crying and upset even from my driver's seat.

My wife came out to the car and said, "You've got to come in here, he's really having a tough time." So I came in and picked up my son in my arms (man, he's getting heavy) and started to tell him that I loved him and would be back soon. As I spoke the words, "I love you." I had the thought, "If you love him so much, what are you doing to show him that you love him?" Again, I lifted up a quick prayer for wisdom and the thought came to me, "Take him with you."

So I told my wife, "I'm going to take Elijah with me." So we gathered him some snacks to take with us and we were on our way.

Now this was not supposed to be a family event, but a team building event for my work. So I knew I was "breaking the rules" and would possibly be subjected to some funny looks, bad attitudes or whispers by those who didn't approve of my choice to bring my son along. But by faith (and love) I took him and he was very happy.

Now here comes the true "love story". Around the 16th hole (this was the nicest minature golf course I've ever seen, by the way), Elijah decided to throw his ball and it landed in a large pond. The pond was fenced in with signs around it warning golfers not to bother the swans. I tried to stick my club in to fish out his ball to no avail. So I told him we'd have to continue on without his special blue ball.

But by the time we got to the next hole, he was again asking for the ball. So my co-workers with me suggested I try to grab another ball that was laying beside the water. We went over to try and scoop it out and as I leaned over the fence, my glasses dropped in and landed right next to the ball on the rocks next to the pond.

My co-worker looked at me and said, "Now you've got to go in." So we surveyed the area and pointed out the best place to hop the fence. In the meantime, there was a huge swan eyeing me down. I made the jump. Grabbed the ball and my glasses and hopped back over the fence before the killer swan could reach me. And believe me, he was coming my way.

While my heroics will never compare to the stories of modern day Super-men who save lives from burning buildings, one thing holds true. True love does what's best for another.

"Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends." - Jesus
(John 15:13)

Daughter in college...gone astray from the Lord...

A web reader wrote:

Besides praying, how can parents who are currently raising their two youngest children to live Christian lives, minister to their oldest child who is living out of state and attending college? The choices that this child is making are totally non Christian and I can't even get her to commit to finding a new church family and/or interact with other Christian students. All she's interested in is partying and boys and I am so afraid that she will be hurt terribly and/or be so consumed in the world that she won't find her way back to Christ.

Dear Reader:
I am sorry to hear of your daughter's choices to stray from the faith. I can tell this is a really painful situation for you. Let's first get on the table some of the things you cannot do for your daughter.

1) You can't make her decision for Christ. She's going to have to make the decision to follow Christ on her own. This is actually a good thing because she will "own" her faith at that point and it won't be the choice of her Mom and Dad.

2) You can't watch over your daughter's activities. As a parent you want the best for your child and that includes protecting them from harmful people and circumstances. "In the natural", you can't oversee every activity that your daughter will participate in or people she will hang out around. She's on her own and although you can influence her choices, you can in no way monitor all of them - that's God's job.

3) You can't stop being a good Mom to your other two young kids. Your other two kids need you the most right now. If they are old enough to understand your eldest daughter's decisions, you will be responsible for sharing with them why you believe these are wrong choices and leading them to the truth of God's Word. You are responsible for protecting them from any harmful influences as well as nurturing them in their spirits.

4) You can't take back the past. The Apostle Paul wrote, "forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." (Phil 3:13,14) Do not condemn yourself for any mistakes you've made in parenting your eldest child. Ask God for His forgiveness, forgive yourself and where appropriate ask your daughter to forgive you, then do your best to move on in faith.

Before we go forward with what you can do, let's pause for a moment of prayer. "Lord we lift up this mother to you now. Comfort her in her time of distress. Let her know that you are always there with her at any time of the day, even in her darkest hour. Help her to surrender to You those things that are out of her control and give her the strength and wisdom to raise her two younger kids up in Your ways. In Jesus' name we pray, Amen."

Now for what you can do :

1) Pray! : I know that prayer sometimes seems like it's just not enough, but let me encourage you to know that there is no greater power available to us to change our circumstances than the power that comes through prayer. Although you can't make your daughter's decision to accept or follow Christ, you can pray for God to work in drawing her to Himself. And though you cannot watch over your daughter's activities, you can pray for her protection and well being. Never underestimate the power of a praying mother!

2) Wait expectantly: James wrote, "Count it all joy when you fall in to various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing" (James 1:3, 4) God wants to use this trying time in your life to help you develop even greater character, namely patience. Wait with expectation that you will one day see your daughter come around and follow after the Lord. That takes faith!

3) Ask for wisdom: James continued by saying, "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him." (James 1:5) God wants to give you wisdom for this situation and all you need to do is ask. Ask and keep asking. God can give ideas on how to relate to your daughter and to pray for her.

4) Find support: There have to be other Christian mothers out there going through the same situation. If you know any, call them up. Set up a time for you to get together and pray for your children and to encourage one another. If you don't know of any, ask God to provide one for you. God never wants us to walk this journey alone. Also, if your husband is a Christian man, ask him to pray with you. Allow this trial to pull you closer together, not further apart. God can bless your marriage and faith if you come together in the name of our Lord Jesus and pray and trust His Word and promises.

5) Don't lose heart: "And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart." (Galatians 6:9) I am certain that if you persist in prayer for your daughter and continue to be a good example of what it means to walk with Christ, it is only a matter of time before she comes back to the truth. Don't give up! As long as you can hold onto Jesus through this trial, trusting Him regardless of the choices your daughter makes, you will have the victory. Don't doubt it, don't fear the worst. Trust God completely. He is working on your behalf so don't give up!!

"Lord, we pray again for this dear mother. Give her the courage to carry on. We pray for her daughter as well. Speak to her heart and call her back to You. Give this mother a wonderful support system to help her stay encouraged. Bless her marriage and her two younger children. We trust that one day, she will see her entire household praising You. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen."